Album: Bat Boy Soundtrack

Three Bedroom House

MEREDITH: Out! Out! Out! Time to get out!
SHELLEY: Out?
MEREDITH: Out! Gotta just rip out this page,
bend the bars of this cage and run free!
SHELLEY: Free?
MEREDITH: Free! No one but Edgar, you and me!
Gotta go find him and move on-
BOTH: And be gone before the dawn!

MEREDITH: Gotta get checkbooks,
SHELLEY: Checkbooks,
MEREDITH: Car keys,
SHELLEY: Car keys,
MEREDITH: Passports,
SHELLEY: Passports,
MEREDITH: Then goodbye!
SHELLEY: Toothbrush,
MEREDITH: Toothbrush,
SHELLEY: Blankets,
MEREDITH: Blankets,
SHELLEY: Daddy?
MEREDITH: No.
SHELLEY: Why?

MEREDITH: Shelley, listen to me.
What do you do when you blow out a tire?
SHELLEY: Tire?
MEREDITH: Trash it! Some holes you'll never patch.
SHELLEY: You'll never patch?
MEREDITH: And who do you save when your house is on fire?
SHELLEY: Fire?
MEREDITH: Don't bring the guy who lit the match!
SHELLEY: Who lit the match!

MEREDITH: So we'll get a post office box,
And we're gonna change all the locks,
And we're gonna stay with my cousins a while.
Then we'll get a three bedroom house
with a white picket fence and a gun and a lawyer,
so smile!

Gonna get a homeowner's loan;
SHELLEY: Could...
MEREDITH: Gonna get an unlisted phone;
SHELLEY: Good!
MEREDITH: Gonna get away from this town gone insane!
SHELLEY: Kinda thought they would...
MEREDITH: Then we'll get a three bedroom house
SHELLEY: A beautiful three bedroom house
MEREDITH: Affordable
BOTH: Three bedroom house
MEREDITH: With a great big pit bull on a chain!

SHELLEY: Okay... Okay, Okay, Okay, Okay
Right! Right! Right! Mother, you're right!
MEREDITH: Right?
SHELLEY: Right! Still kinda sad that my dad lost what marbles he had
but we're free!
MEREDITH: Free!
SHELLEY: Free! I'll get a brand new fake I.D!
MEREDITH: And if we lack for anything I can hock this stupid ring!

BOTH: And we'll get a post office box
And we'll get a front gate that locks!
SHELLEY: And we'll get away from those ignorant pigs!
BOTH: And we'll get a three bedroom house!
MEREDITH: A livable three bedroom house
SHELLEY: A lovable
BOTH: Three bedroom house
MEREDITH: And some plastic surgery and wigs!
SHELLEY: For who?
MEREDITH: For all of us...
SHELLEY: Right...

BOTH: And Edgar will soon have
SHELLEY: A garden to walk in
MEREDITH: His own driver's license
SHELLEY: A car- NO! A van!
BOTH: And Edgar will soon have
SHELLEY: A ballroom to dance in
MEREDITH: A good dental plan!

SHELLEY: Cause Edgar will soon have a home...
MEREDITH: Yes, Edgar will soon have a home...
BOTH: A heck of a home!
And we'll get a post office box
And we'll get a front gate that locks
MEREDITH: And big electrified fence all around!
SHELLEY: Whoa!

MEREDITH: And we'll get a three bedroom house-
SHELLEY: Or even a two bedroom house-
MEREDITH: No, honey a three bedroom house-
SHELLEY: Mom... do you think Edgar would marry me?

(Pause)

MEREDITH: No, honey a three bedroom house,
A three bedroom house
In a concrete shelter ten feet underground!

SHELLEY: Mom! I want to marry Edgar! I'm in love with him!
MEREDITH: No, Shelley.
SHELLEY: What?
MEREDITH: You're not in love with Edgar!
SHELLEY: Yes, I am, Mom. I love him so much. And I want to be with him forever-
MEREDITH: No, Shelley! It's hideous! It's not right!
SHELLEY: You're just like the rest of them!
MEREDITH: You don't understand- Shelley! NO!

What about the three bedroom house?
The three bedroom house!
Who do you save when your house is on fire...
Your House Is On Fire...
Your House Is On Fire!