Album: Cabaret

It Couldn't Please Me More [Alan Cumming]



FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Herr Schultz. Can I believe what I see?
But this is too much to accept.
It's so rare...so costly...so luxious...
If you brought me diamonds
If you brought me pearls
If you brought me roses
Like some other gents might bring to other girls
It couldn't please me more
Than the gift I see
A pineapple for me

HERR SCHULTZ:

If in your emotion
You began to sway
Went to get some air
Or grabbed a chair to keep from fainting dead away
It couldn't please me more
Than to see you cling
To the pineapple I bring

BOTH:

Ahh....

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow

BOTH:

Ahh....

HERR SCHULTZ:

It's from California

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Even so.
How am I to thank you?

HERR SCHULTZ:

Kindly let it pass

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Would you like a slice?

HERR SCHULTZ:

That might be nice
But frankly, it would give me gas

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Then we shall leave it here
Not to eat, but see:

BOTH:

A pineapple...

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

For me

HERR SCHULTZ:

From me

BOTH:

Ahhhh.....

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

But you must not bring me any more pineapples.
Do you hear? It is not proper.
It is a gift a young man would bring to his lady-love. It makes me blush.

HERR SCHULTZ:

But there is no-one...no-one in all of Berlin who is more deserving
If I could, I would fill your room with pineapples!
A pineapple
For you

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

From you

BOTH: (with EMCEE)

Ahhhh...
Ahhhh...

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

I think I will lie down for a few moments. My head is spinning!

HERR SCHULTZ:

Fräulein Schneider...good evening.

FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER:

Good evening, Herr Schultz.
I am...overwhelmed!