Album: other songs

Merchandisers Song

WALTER
Whether you are pro or anti
Or could not care less
We are here to tell you
We are here to sell you chess
Not a chance of you escaping from our wiles
We've locked the doors, we've blocked the aisles
We've a franchise worth exploiting
And I will -

MERCHANDISERS
Yes we will!

WALTER
When it comes to merchandising
I could kill!


FIRST MERCHANDISER
We've done all our market research
And our findings show
That this game of chess could be around
A month or so

SECOND MERCHANDISER
Maybe it's a bit confusing
For a game
But Rubik's Cubes were much the same

THIRD MERCHANDISER
In the end the whole world bought one--we were right!
We can do the same with Bishop, Rook and Knight



WALTER & MERCHANDISERS
Don't you find it rather touching to behold
The game that came in from the cold
Seen for what it is--religion, plus finesse
Countries, classes, creeds as one in love of chess

MERCHANDISERS
When you get up in the morning
Till you crash at night
You will find yourself surrounded
By our copyright

MERCHANDISERS & CHORUS
Brush your teeth with checkered toothpaste
Wear our vests
Our kings and queens on bouncing breasts

WALTER
You could even buy a set and learn to play

MERCHANDISER & CHORUS
We don't mind--we'll sell you something anyway