Album: other songs

The Jedi Drinking Test

JEDI DRINKING SONG



I had one pint of beer, and one shot of scotch,

one bottle of wine, and bourbon on the rocks

I had one lassie on me right, another on the left,

I looked that puppet in the eye and said give me the test



A long time ago, in a pub far away,

I sat on a barstool, just drinking away,

I couldn't hold it down, I guess I had too much

I felt a tremor in the force and then I lost my lunch



Woke up in a desert land, feeling hot and sick,

I saw a bearded man, he looked like some kind of hick,

He slowly waved his hand, and my pain was gone

He said: "let's go see Yoda, and I'll teach you this song."



(Chorus)



We got on a starship, and I flew off into space

He said his name was Obi-Wan and there is no time to waste,

"I have to get you trained before it is too late,

So drink this bottle of whisky, and don't give in to hate."



My training went on, and I'd drank most of the bar

We had to stop up for supplies on the nearest Death Star

I learned to control my fear, and hold my alcohol

Soon I was able to stand when Obi-Wan would fall.


(Chorus)

(Bridge)


I sat down beside him and looked him in the eye

He looked right back at me, said: "do you judge me by my size?"

Obi-Wan said: "careful, for Yoda is the best"

I said: "ok shorty, bring on this test"



I could tell you how it ended, I could tell you some lies

Let's just say, on that night the force was on his side

I got all riled up, and they threw me in jail

I said I don't believe it, Yoda said that's why I failed



I had one pint of beer, and one shot of scotch,

one bottle of wine, and bourbon on the rocks

I had one lassie on me right, another on the left,

I looked that puppet in the eye and said give me the test

Yeah, I looked that muppet in the eye and said give me the test

Well, I looked that litte rod right in the eye...