Album: Human Zoo (2014)

Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White

Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First I'm goin' shopping in my underwear
Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid-air
My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare
Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere

Now doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet
Next comes the part that I won't ever forget
Now I'm being followed by these Russian spies
They give me some velcro and an order of fries
Suddenly I'm bowling on the Starship Enterprise
I fall down a hole and that's when I realize

I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White
Night after night after night after night
All right

Doctor, won't you tell me, am I going insane?
Was it something I ate or something wrong with my brain?
See, I'm naked in church when I meet a dinosaur
Try to run but my feet have been nailed to the floor
Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door
And I'm back in the very same place I was before

Now I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White
Night after night after night after night

(And I can't bust out and I can't break free)
And it's gettin' just a little too stuffy here for me
(And I can't go home and I can't get loose)
And I try to escape but it's just no use
(And I can't ever leave and I can't ever win)
And we're runnin' outta air and the walls are closin' in
(And I can't go back and I can't get through)
But Vanna, since you're here, why don't you let me buy a vowel from you?
Come on, Vanna, come on!

Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again
That's right, I even wake up screaming now and then
See, I'm coming home from work but I forgot my address
I'm half an hour late for my algebra test
Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest
And I'm falling and falling and I guess you know the rest

I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White
Night after night after night after night

I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White
Stuck in a closet with Vanna White
N-n-n-night after night after night night night

Then I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya-ya ya-ya, ya-ya, ya, ya-ya)
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White
Night after night after night after night

I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White (ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya ya-ya)
I'm stuck in a closet with Vanna White