Album: Have I Offended Someone?

Dumb All Over

Dumb All Over (Frank Zappa)
This version of lyrics from “Have I Offended Someone?” (a fantastic live version) released 1997

Whoever we are, wherever we’re from
We shoulda noticed by now, our behavior is dumb
And if our chances expect to improve
It’s gonna take a lot more, than trying to remove the other race
Or the other whatever, from the face
Of the planet altogether

They call it THE EARTH, which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right, ‘cause we behave the same...
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over, yes we are
Dumb all over, near an’ far
Dumb all over, black an’ white
People, we is not wrapped tight

Nerds on the left, nerds on the right
Religious fanatics on the air every night
Saying the Bible tells the story
Makes the details sound real gory
About what to do if the geeks over there
Don’t believe in the book we got over here

You can’t run a race without no feet
An’ pretty soon there won’t be no street
For dummies to jog on or doggies to dog on
Religious fanatics can make it be all gone
It won’t blow up An’ disappear
It’ll just look ugly for a thousand years...

You can’t run a country by a book of religion
Not by a heap or a lump or a smidgen
Of foolish rules of ancient date
Designed to make you all feel great
While you fold, spindle and mutilate
Those unbelievers from a neighboring state

TO ARMS! TO ARMS! Hooray! That’s great
Two legs ain’t bad unless there’s a crate
They ship the parts to mama in
For souvenirs: two ears - Get Down!
Not his, not hers, but what the hey?
The Good Book says: “It’s gotta be that way!”
But their book says: “REVENGE THE CRUSADES!!!!...”

With whips an’ chains an’ hand grenades...”
TWO ARMS? TWO ARMS? Have another and another
My God says: “There ain’t no other!”
Our God says: “It’s all okay!”
My God says: “This is the way!”
It says in the book: “Burn and destroy…..”
An’ repent, an’ redeem, an’ revenge, an’ deploy
An’ rumble thee forth to the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
Cause they don’t go for what’s in the Book
An’ that makes ‘em BAD
So All, verily we must choppeth them up
Or stompeth them down
Or rent a nice French bomb
Ssssssssss…….. to poof them out of existence
While leaving their real estate just where we need it
To use again for temples in which to praise OUR GOD
“Cause He can really take care of business!”

And when His humble TV servant
With white hair and a brown suit
And maybe a blond wife who takes phone calls
Tells us it’s okay to do this stuff, then we’re supposed do it
‘Cause if we don’t do it, we ain’t gwine up to hebbin!
(Depending on which book you’re using at the time...
Can’t use theirs... it’s all lies...... Gotta use mine... Ain’t that right?
That’s what they say -- Every night... Every day...
Listen, we can’t really be dumb, if we’re just following God’s Orders
After all, He wrote this book here an’ in the Book He says:
“He made us all to be just like Him,”
So... If we’re dumb... Then God is dumb...
An’ maybe even a little bit ugly on the side

DUMB ALL OVER – a little ugly on the side
DUMB ALL OVER – a little ugly on the side
DUMB ALL OVER – a little ugly on the side