Album: I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change SoundtrackPrologue\Cantata for a First DateWoman 1
And the Lord God said, "Let there be light." And there was light.
Man 1
And the Lord God said, "Let there be man and woman."
Woman 2
And there was man and woman
Man 2
That night man asked woman if she was busy
Woman 2
And woman said, "Thank you, she'd have to check.
Woman 1
But she's interested in anything long term, she still wants to see other people.
Women 1/2
He he he he he he he he he he he he
Man 2
And man said, "There are no other people"
Man 1/2
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Woman 1
And woman said ok how about this,
We get married, you vow you're eternal love for me,
I expell a bunch of miniature humans
Who are totally depended on us for 18 years.
Woman 2
You get a job, you stay home weekends,
And you never see another women naked for the rest of your life.
Man 2
And man said
Man 1/2
Ah ah ah ah ah
Women 1
And then thousands
Man 1
And thousands
Women 2
And thousands
Man 2
And thousands of years past
Women 1
And as for man and women...
Man 1
First date, new romance, clean shirt, pressed pants,
Aftershave, deoderent, electric razor, veloments.
Man 2
Mouthwash, toothpaste, bring the condoms just in case,
Macho boy, slick the hair, modern man, debonair.
Man 1
I will splash on must.
Man 2
I will knot my tie.
Man 1/2
And before I go I will check my fly.
It is women who have turned me into this.
A quaff up and dry cleanded guy.
Women 1
Facial creme from a spa, lingerie, wonder bra,
Hairspray, hairspritz, wax the legs, shave the pits.
Women 2
Appitite, coy and pert, don't eat much,
No dessert, sweet and low, half and half, smile a lot, fake a laugh.
Women 1
I have primed and plucked
Women 2
I have rubbed on nair.
Women 1/2
I have spent two hours on my face and hair.
And I did all this for a guy I barely know, and I bet he won't even care.
Man 1
I'll behave real well. Show her just the good stuff only.
Man 2
I could weave a spell, if I lie about somethings.
Woman 1
I hope he's mature, unlike every guy I've dated.
Woman 2
Still I will endure, someone somewhere dreams of me.
Man 1
But I got baggage, emotioal baggage, a plane load of baggage,
That causes much saggage, everybody.
All
We've got baggage, emotional draggage,
And we've been logging around this baggage a long long time.
All (spoken)
Time!?! Shit!!!!!!!!
All
Will my hopes be met? Will my fear dispell?
Will I captivate? Or will I repel?
Will I show him/her just how wonderful I am?
Or will I be a date from hell?
All
First date, new romance, different partner, same dance,
Ready now, almost time, here we go, door bell chime.
All at same time:
Men: Women: (faster)
I'll behave real well Facial creme from a spa
Show her just the lingere wonder bra
good stuff only I hairspray hairspritz
could weave a spell wax the legs shave the
If I lied about some pits. Appatite coy and
things. pert, don't eat much no
dessert, sweet and low
half and half smile a
lot fake a laugh
All
Here I go once more, fishing for another lover,
One more waiting door, one more very long long shot.
Man 1
Will this be a waste?
Woman 1
Or will I strike gold?
Man 2
Will my life be chase?
Woman 2
God, I'm getting old.
(door bell rings)
All (spoken)
HI.
