Album: Kings Singers Sing Flanders And Swann And Noel Coward

Rockall

Of course, in those days of the mid-fifties, the London stage still suffered under
the iron hand of the wicked Lord Chamberlain, who at that time was a very charming
chap called Lord Scarborough. You weren't able to ad lib, or mention members of the
Royal family, or presidents, or so on, and my goodness, you couldn't mention
lavatories or anything dreadful like that! No sexual deviation, or four-letter words
- you may wonder how we managed. I remember, I used to be rung up by indignant
members of the press, saying 'Isn't it dreadful, all this censorship. Tell me some
of the great ideas you've had that the Lord Chamberlain has refused to pass'. I was
terribly embarrassed, and had to say rather sheepishly that I'd never had anything
banned at all. And I didn't dare tell them, which was even worse, that sometimes my
scripts used to come back from the Lord Chamberlain's office with little remarks
written on them, saying 'I like this one', 'Jolly good', 'Give it to 'em', things
like that. All rather embarrassing, but never mind, once you're on the
establishment, you stick there, I find. But I did get away with one mild double
entendre, in a song celebrating the occasion when our gallant British Navy annexed
Rockall - that lump of rock in the Atlantic. It was really more of a single
entendre, because the lyric looked innocent enough written down, but when you sung
it it was considered daringly near the bone then. Nowadays, I don't think anyone'd
raise an eyebrow. Anyway, judge for yourselves.

The fleet set sail for Rockall,
Rockall,
Rockall,
To free the isle of Rockall,
From fear of foreign foe.
We sped across the planet,
To find this lump of granite,
One rather startled Gannet;
In fact, we found Rockall.

So, praise the brave Bell-bottoms,
Bottoms,
Bottoms,
Who saw Britannia's Peril,
And answered to her call,
Though we're thrown out of Malta,
Though Spain should take Gibraltar,
Why should we flinch or falter,
When England's got Rockall.

MF: And Donald still hasn't got the point.