Album: Under The Double Ego

The Gospel Accordin' To John

(Kinky Friedman, Roger Friedman)
He was just an old-time preacher on the ol¡¯ time radio
But they never learn to listen till they lived enough to know.
I used to walk out on that porch when mama¡¯d turn the durn thing on
To the Gospel accordin¡¯ to John.
Her mail-order prayer shawl fell across her silver hair,
Her sad eyes saw a better world when John came on the air.
Mama had someone to turn to ¡ª she was rockin¡¯ all night long
To the Gospel accordin¡¯ to John.
You see, she was a blind believer in John¡¯s bible beatin¡¯ game.
He¡¯d heal ¡®em, wheel ¡®em, deal ¡®em, bless ¡®em in Heaven¡¯s name.
Onward Christian soldiers, just a dollar and a half
Buys a photo of Jesus with an autograph.
And Jesus was a-watching from the table by the door
When that rockin¡¯ chair grew silent and that shawl fell to the floor.
I walked out on that porch because I couldn¡°t find a prayer
When a kindly voice come a-cracklin¡¯ ¡®cross the air.
Said, ¡°Folks, them righteous times are comin¡°, I say, they¡¯re comin¡¯ right on back.
You can hop that gospel train,¡± he said, ¡°from both sides of the track.
Some people prayin¡¯, keep a-listenin¡¯, keep a-helpin¡¯ out the show,
¡®Cause ol¡¯ John¡¯s with you anywhere you go.¡±
Now some folks claim the Scriptures are the only living truth,
Others swear by Peter, Paul or Matthew, Mark or Luke,
Ah but there ain¡¯t a nicer passage just to sail a dream upon
Than the gospel accordin¡¯ to John.
He was just an old-time preacher but he answered mama¡¯s call,
His words may never save a soul, but his faith could heal us all.
¡®Cause life's a sacred pilgrimage whatever trip you¡¯re on
And that's the gospel accordin¡° to John.
Recitation:
God bless you, John ¡ª you ol¡¯ devil ...