Album: other songs

Toast

[Spoken]
Morning all. I'd like to tell you about when I was a young boy. I must have been three or four months old at the time. I didn't really know what I wanted, and if I did, I wouldn't have been able to tell anybody, 'cos all I could do was gurgle. So I sat there in me highchair, thinking one day, looking at me tray and thinking what I'd give for a meal on there. So I started looking round to see what I could have. I was rubbing me eggy soldier in me head, trying to think, and then I looked in the corner and there's a little breadbin with its mouth open, just staring at me, like. And then I looked in and I saw bread.

I thought, oh yeah, I'll have toast,
A little piece of toast.

Well, then I started getting older,
I hated this, I hated that,
Expensive state was ludicrous
And cafés couldn't cater for the finer things in life:
The upper crust was not for me,
I could tell that.
So I'd go back home,
Switch the kitchen light on,
Put the grill on,
Slip a slice under

And have toast,
A little piece of toast.

'Cos there's so much to choose from.
There's brown bread, white bread,
All sorts of wholemeal bread;
It comes in funny packages
With writing on the side,
But it doesn't matter which one you have
'Cos when you cut the crusts off,
Have it with marmalade
Or butter, cheese, tomatoes, beans,
Banana
Or chocolate if you're strange,
It doesn't really matter.

Oh no, it all goes with toast,
Just toast.

I'm gonna think about it some...

That's toast, mmm yeah,
Just toast,
That's toast,
Just toast.

Well I go down the supermarket
With me basket in me hand,
I'm walking from one counter to another
Trying to find the bread stall,
But I can't find it anywhere
And then I bump into a mother
With a baby in a basket
And she says

"Oh look, you've started him off again,
I come down here for a little bit of peace and quiet
To get some bread to go home to make toast,
Just toast,
I like toast"
Yeah, but I don't half like toast.

OK, scrape that toast, boys.

That's toast,
Yeah, just toast.

[Spoken]
I can't think about it any more. I've got to go and have some, it's no good. Here listen, I'm getting a bit browned off standing here. Me too. Shall we go and have some toast? Good idea. Why not? OK. I've got the grill on. Got any brown bread? Yeah! Have you got wholemeal bread? Wheatmeal bread? All sorts of toast. Let's go... (They proceed to make toast, accompanied by various kitchen noises.)