Album: Thanks For The Ether

The Donner Party

The similarities and situations between the Donner Party and the colonial Pilgrims is
both appalling, frightening, and incomplete. In both cases you'll find, one, a fairly
large group of ill-prepared greenhorns pitting themselves against nature and each
other, two, an insufficient willingness to endure the very real hardships of
frontiering and, three, coinsidential misfortune at every turn. Number three,
coinsidential misfortune at every turn. Disasters at both camps were initially
brought about by departure, delay, and desert inertia; which caused our heroes to
begin their journeys at absolutely retarded times weatherwise. If fantasy is the
refuge of a frightened man, and a castle in the air is a safe harbor for a foolish
few, just imagine living in a hut buried twelve feet below the snow, with the sight
and smell of the scattered carcasses of loved ones at your feet; it is the lay of
the land, just another day. I would like to propose that cannibalism was indeed
rampant among America's earliest settlers: The Pilgrims. For what does settler
imply, if not the willingness to settle? To settle for a meal of human flesh if my
thoughts on the subject are to be believed. In conclusion, spread the word of this.
Look to the night sky, and hark back to our forefathers' shortcomings, and your own,
as you cut your meat and lay the groundwork for a new tomorrow.