Album: Contender

Friday the 13th

It was a fine left coast morning
And I found myself planted outside
The Cap 'N' Cork
Tipping back the hops
In order to calm my dancing hands
You see I usually don't play
The tied-up watchdog routine
Looking up and down the street
But this is the corner
Joey A., my car and I
Were supposed to meet

You see Joey The Amateur and I
Were out clinkin' glasses last night
When I got three sheets to an ill wind
Myself being in possession
Of a fine Double 5 Lincoln convert
Joey offered to skip me back to the crib
I awoke to a barren driveway
And a neighbor started to chide
";Joey dumped you off,
And he's got your ride!";

Black cats, they don't bother me
I smile in bad company
And I'm cool as the day is long
But takin' my car, daddy
That's dead wrong

It was now 11:22
And up scuffles Benny The Shoe
A real hot air merchant from way back
I inquired about Joey A.
And my superfine Lincoln
Then Mr. B.S. beat his gums
And testified to me,
";Joe's washing the short,
Changing da oil
He'll be here by three."; So the little hand hits three
And who should appear
But a Cuban cat named Geronimo
An upstanding cat
In the textile business

He said, ";Joey knocked over a racketman
And is laying low for a few,
But in your trunk he left you some treasure
A pint of rye and a case of Slim Jim's
For your masticating pleasure

Now ten p.m. finds me
Hot as a hophead's zippo
When Rosie appears
On her financially motivated
Nightly exercise routine
I asked the whereabouts
Of the horsepower thief in question
And she shot me that amphetamine stare
And said, ";Joey A.?
I just got out of his Lincoln
On Hollywood Way.";

I thought
";Kill Joey A.!"; when the bar keep came out
To simmer my slow boil
He said, ";Joey A. just called on the blower,
He said you better skip town,
'Cause the cops got your ride.
You're wanted for solicitation,
Possession -- you owe him one,
And here's the scather."; He said,
";And another thing cat,
Don't ask me for
Goddamn favors!";