Album: other songs

Hangnail

[Chorus]
I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What!
Got a hangnail like you just wouldn't believe
I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What!
Got a hangnail! And I think it's starting to bleed!

[Verse One]
I got a, hangnail stickin out my pinky finger
And no matter how I pull it there's a tiny piece that lingers
I twist it and I yank- yank, I turn it like a crank- crank
I feel like I'm tryin to crack a safe at a bank
I never thought that anything so small could be so irritating
Flappy thin and fascinating, cuticle-ly captivating
Still I'm waiting just to find a method for removal
That's effective, not subjective, and will have my mom's approval
It gets my full attention 'til I finally get it off
It's beyond my comprehension why sometimes it's hard and soft
I don't know where they come from and I don't know where they go
But do they get the best of me, I gotta say hell no
Sometimes it takes my teeth sometimes it takes an act of God
But I always get it off if it takes off half my bod
So check out all your fingers if you got one out of luck
Then you gotta 'gree with me, I tell ya, hangnails suck

[Chorus]
I got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there!
They got a cocky attitude and they don't show any fear
I got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there!
And when I pull it off it comes out up to here!

[Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]
I got a, hangnail now I'm feelin kinda odd
Now I'm startin to get queasey as my finger starts to throb
It's just a little flapper tell me what could be the harm
I tried to pull it off and it ripped all up my arm
I had a hangnail, there I was drivin down I-95
and got it caught in the gear shift and now I'm just
strivin to keep my car in the damn lane
And restrain the pain and try not to go insane
I got a hangnail, I feel so frail like Mr. Burns
And my finger burns, it never learns
... hey, what happened to the song?
I got a hangnail, so the mix came out wrong
I tell ya, hangnails make it tough to get a date
When the women see my fingers they just tend to run away
Like Friday night, started out alright but then declined
When the thing broke off and fell in my glass of wine
So I got rejected, hangnail got infected
Now I'm sittin home alone pus filled and neglected
Pissed at my finger, gonna set the thing straight
If it doesn't shape up I'm gonna amputate

[Chorus]
I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what
Got a hangnail, another one is startin to grow
I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what
Got a hangnail, another one on my big toe

[Verse Three]
I got a, hangnail now isn't that a pity
Launching an investigation and I'm forming a committee
Gonna get to the bottom of the problem if I can
So let's pay close attention to the matter at hand
Actually the matter's at foot this time
Got a hangnail hangin off my toe this time
How bad could it be it's just a little flap of skin
You just gotta yank it out and then that'll be the end
Pull it out, no doubt, then I start to scream and shout
Thus begins round one of a twelve round bout
It's stuck in so hard I gotta get a pair of pliers
Now I'm gettin kinda tired I think my foot is on fire
I gotta get a jackhammer just to dig around the nail
Now I'm gettin kinda faint because the air is gettin stale
I didn't use an anastehtic but I'm thinkin that I should've
Now I got half a mind to just cut my whole foot off
Nail clippers do nothin, sandpaper doesn't work
I even tried hedgeclippers, now I'm really gettin irked
This has gotta be the most annoying thing I ever saw
I may have to resort to the mighty chainsaw

[Chorus]
I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what
I got a hangnail, causing lots of pain as I walk
I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what
I got a hangnail, I got it caught on my damn sock
I got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah
When I finally get 'em out they leave ugly skin trails
I got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah
I only got 10 fingers, I got 40 hangnails!