Album: Sunset Boulevard

Girl Meets Boy

Joe
Girl meets boy, that's a safe beginning
Betty
It's nearly closing, I thought you weren't going to show.
Joe
So did I, I felt it might be kinder
Betty
What are you saying?
Joe
Come on, Miss Schaeffer, you know.
Betty
What?
Joe
Every time I see some young kid
Dreaming they'll produce a masterpiece
I just want to throw them on the next train home.
Betty
Never thought you'd be so condescending,
Joe
Sorry, Miss Schaeffer, I don't come here to fight.
Betty
Girl meets boy, if that's how you want it.
She's a young teacher, he's a reporter. It's hate at first sight.
Joe
It won't sell, these days they want glamour;
Fabulous hairess meets handsome hollywood heel
The problem is, she thiks he's a burglar.
Would yo believe it? A wedding in the last reel.
Betty
It doesn't have to be so mindless.
You should write from your experience
Give us something really moving; something true.
Joe
Who wants true? Who the hell wants moving?
Moving means starving
And true means holes in your shoe.
Betty
No, you're wrong. They still make good pictures.
Stick to your story, it's a good story.
Joe
O.K. Miss Schaeffer; I give it to you.
Betty
What do you mean?
Joe
It's what I said. I've given up writing myself. So you write it.
Betty
Oh, I'm not good enough to do it on my own.
But I thought we could write it together.
Joe
I can't, I'm all tied up.
Betty
Couldn't we work evening? Six o'clock in the morning?
I'd come to your place.
Joe
Look, Betty, it can't be done, it's out.
Let's keep in touch through Artie.
That way if you get stuck, we can at least talk.
Write this down, I'll give you some ground rules.
Plenty of conflict but nice guy don't break the law.
Girl meets boy, she give herself completely
And though she loves him
Joe/Betty
She keep one foot on the floor
Betty
No one dies except the best friend
No one ever mentions communists
No one takes a black friend to a restaurant.
Joe
Very good, nothing I can teach you
We could have had fun fighting the studio.
Betty
Yes, Mr. Gillis. That's just what I want.
Artie
What a nightmare, good to see you.
Come to my new year party.
Joe
Last year it got out of hand
Artie
Guaranteed bad behavior
Joe
See you then
Betty
Don't give up, you're too good.
Joe
Thanks.