Album: The Wild Party Soundtrack

An Old-Fashioned Love Story

MADELAINE
At the bar there's a girl in the shadow
Sitting still like a nun unknown.
Though an attic full of strangers
May hold many hidden dangers
There's a quality I like -
She's alone.

So I pause
And I wink
And I shudder
Just to bring her attention in line
While her pastures may be greener
I can tell by her demeanor
She's mine!

(The girl falls off her chair, dead drunk.)

That's fine:
I need a good-natured, old-fashioned
Lesbian love story
The kind of tale my mama used to tell.
Where the girls were so sweet
And the music would swell
And in the end the queen would send the men off to hell.

What is that mild-mannered, old-fashioned
Lesbian love story
Where people knew exactly who they were?
I want the story of yore
That they don't sing anymore
To an old-fashioned dyke like her.

See that girl on the bed, how she wants me.
She's a bee I could free from the hive.
I would never dare deceive her
She's a very clever beaver
With a quality I like -
She's alive.

So I pause
And I twitch
In the silence
While I pray that she'll play out this hand.
But I feel my intuition
Saying "Notice her position" -
Start the band!

(The girl is embraced by a man.)

She's clearly manned.

I planned a well-rendered, one-gendered
Lesbian love story
With good old-fashioned sex in every line
Where girls with tattoos would whimper and whine
"While on all fours, you show me yours
And I'll show you mine."

I miss that soft-hearted, old-fashioned
Lesbian love story
Where women wrestle bears and passersby.
The kind of story so good
That they won't tell in my 'hood
To an old-fashioned dyke like -

I'm gorgeous
I'm single
I'm bustin' with laughs
So why
Can't I
Be just in two short paragraphs of a
You betcha, damn funny
Lesbian love story
The kind of yarn that turns a girl to mush.
Choose from hundreds of blondes
But when shove comes push
I understand a bird in hand's worth two in the bush.
Sweet Jesus!

Let's hear that old-fashioned
Lesbian love story
Where girls are girls
And boys stay out to sea.
I'll write a new one and then
I'll make them tell it again
To an old-fashioned dyke
Like me!