Album: "Weird Al" Yankovic In 3-D (1984)

Mr. Popeil

I need a Vegematic
I need a Pocket Fisherman
I need a handy appliance
That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell

Operators are standing by
How does that make you feel
Help me
Mr. Popeil

I wanna shine some pennies
I wanna mend some leather
I wanna Krazy-Glue my head
To the bottom of a big steel girder

Please, no C.O.D.'s
Don't miss out on this deal
Ah, help me
Mr. Popeil

Help me
Mr. Popeil
Mr. Popeil
Mr. Popeil

Woah
It slices, it dices
Look at that tomato
You could even cut a tin can with it
But you wouldn't want to

Mr. Popeil, I'm in trouble
Need your assistance on the double
Oh no, now how am I gonna make
My old vinyl car top look like new
Mr. Popeil
Tell me, what am I supposed to do

Mr. Popeil
Mr. Popeil

Now how much would you pay
But wait, there's more
It's not sold in any store

Now how much would you pay
Don't answer yet
Just look what else you get

Now how much would you pay
If you order today
You get a Ginsu knife and a smokeless Ashtray

Now how much would you pay
Now how much would you pay
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil
Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil

Make me buy a Garden Weasel
Make me buy a Bamboo Steamer
Make me take advantage
Of this amazing TV offer
Call our toll-free number
We'll make you such a deal

Aw, help me
Mr. Popeil, I want it
Mr. Popeil, well, I need it
Mr. Popeil, I got to got to got to have it
Mr. Popeil
Mr. Popeil
Hey